How Active Should You Be With Your Chapter?

Drum roll please: the answer to this question is going to depend on what the chapter wants. Some chapters want a very hands-on house director who isn't afraid to get messy for a philanthropy. Others just want someone to make sure the food is good and the toilet paper is stocked. From my experience and those of my friends that are HDs, most chapters want a sort of equal combination.

Even if the chapter prefers a more "hands-off" HD, there will still be members who view you as a sort of replacement mom. They'll ask about non-attentive boyfriends, should they change their major, or any one of those questions we all had when we were twenty and the world was just so big. These sort of talks are one of my absolute favorite things to do as a house director. These women are smart, sweet, and ambitious and I love that they trust me enough to ask me these sometimes hard questions.

However, you have to be careful about not getting mixed up in chapter operations. It's one thing to help the chapter president brainstorm some ideas for a fun sisterhood retreat. But it's an entirely different animal to get involved with chapter discipline, membership selection (even if you're an alum of the chapter--just don't), or inserting yourself into somewhere you shouldn't be. One of the most ambiguous descriptions of your job is to make the sorority house a home. Strive to make the atmosphere warm and inviting and when you step into chapter operations, you can ruin that homelike-feeling. So as much as you probably want to even if it's just curiosity, step back and let the chapter and their advisers run the chapter.

As an example of finding balance, here's an example of a philanthropy project one of my houses did with a pancake breakfast. I helped a bit with setting up for the event and stuck around for the first round of crowds. I said hello to a few of the folks coming into the house and retreated to my apartment to catch up on Netflix. I made another trip around the house to make sure everything was okay, just a quick walk thru. Back to the apartment for more House of Cards. I then helped a bit with clean up, but mostly to make sure everything went in the correct spot. The members should handle all the cleaning up themselves but I've found it's easier to lend a hand and make sure it's done correctly instead of having to deal with it the next day. It also keeps me from going into "witch mode" when something wasn't done or ended up broken.

Don't be afraid of asking the chapter how involved they want you to be. I've always asked this question when interviewing for new positions. You can continue to keep asking it during the school year. It can be heartbreaking if the chapter asks you to step back some but try your best to not let it hurt you too much. Look at it as a omen that you're about to put yourself into jeopardy with the chapter. I'd rather deal with a short-term awkwardness than a long-term problem. Look for opportunities outside the house, such as volunteering or an art class.